Greeting Message for Your Answering Machine

Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is working, so you can talk to it instead of waiting for the beep.

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.

Source: Your answering machines!

5 Questions Women Don't Ask Their Doctors

By Rich Maloof

Women everywhere dread going to the OBGYN. It’s not just the cold metal stirrups. sometimes invasive medical procedures can make us anxious to get out of the office ASAP. Meanwhile, some of the questions we were dying to ask the doctor are forgotten. If you’ve ever worried about your low sex drive or wondered what you can do for mild PMS, now's the time to get your questions answered.

Q. I don’t enjoy sex very much because I often experience discomfort. Is there anything a doctor can do for this?

A. Physical and emotional factors alike can contribute to painful intercourse, or dyspareunia. Certainly there are gynecological conditions that manifest as sexual discomfort, and most of them can be resolved with a physician’s guidance. It’s important to be evaluated.

Common conditions represented by superficial pain include yeast infections, dryness and vulvodynia (pain in the vulva). Vaginismus, a spasmodic tightening of the vaginal muscles, can have roots in a medical malady or be a psychological reaction to sex.

If your pain is physically deeper, it could signal anything from ovarian cysts to endometriosis to a pelvic inflammatory disease. But don’t get spooked by the possibilities. Talk to a physician about your symptoms.

Q. I’m having trouble conceiving. What can my husband and I do before resorting to expensive treatments?

A. “Healthy bodies allow you to have a baby, and healthy bodies produce healthy babies,” says Jill Blakeway, a licensed acupuncturist and fertility specialist based in New York City. “It’s really not rocket science.”

Moms-to-be should exercise in moderation to reduce stress and achieve a comfortable body weight. Eat a lot of organic fruits and vegetables and other healthy foods. “We can be pretty sure that the collective burden of all the toxins and chemicals we take in on a regular basis stresses our reproductive cycle,” Blakeway explains.

Holistic solutions can be an excellent, affordable option. And remember, getting pregnant is a team effort. Women and men alike can give fertility a strong head start by minding the following:

• Avoid alcohol
• Avoid coffee
• Eat healthy, unprocessed foods
• Reduce stress
• Don’t smoke
• Don’t use marijuana or other drugs
• Take multivitamins
• Have sex!

Many factors will come into play—age, body weight, medical history—but there are several avenues of treatment to pursue. Not all are expensive, and you might even get some assistance from your insurance carrier.

Q. Is there anything I can do about my terrible PMS? I only have it a few days each month, but those days are wretched.

A. There are over 150 symptoms associated with premenstrual syndrome, from acne to swollen feet to wishing your spouse would get hit by a bus. But if you’re having extreme symptoms such as incapacitating pain, significant depression or cramps outside your normal cycle, consult a doctor to rule out more serious conditions.

Although there’s no cure-all, the right diet and exercise can bring physical and emotional relief.

Dial back the caffeine, which can bring on mood swings as well as breast soreness, and avoid alcohol. Reduce your intake of salt, sugar, fatty foods and red meat. Instead, seek sources of calcium, magnesium and vitamins B6 and E (see www.nutrition.org/nutinfo/ for foods containing these nutrients). The evidence on herbal remedies like primrose oil and chaste tree berry is anecdotal; some women swear by them, some swear at them.
Moderate aerobics (running, walking, swimming) and relaxation techniques (yoga, massage) tend to reduce fatigue, anxiety and depression.

While over-the-counter ibuprofen and diuretics can be helpful, there is better medical evidence that low doses of SSRIs—the same drugs used to counter depression—will relieve PMS symptoms effectively and rapidly.

Q. My doctor doesn’t want to prescribe hormone replacement therapy, but my hot flashes and insomnia are destroying my daily life. What can I do to get some relief?

A. The first line of defense against menopausal symptoms is keeping a healthy diet, exercising and avoiding hot-flash triggers such as alcohol and caffeine. But for many women it’s not enough to sit near a fan eating soy.

“For women who do not get relief from lifestyle measures, a retreat from all therapy does not make sense,” says Dr. Nanette Santoro of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx, N.Y. “Quality-of-life studies indicate that women who do get relief are better off with the therapy. And for about 85 percent of women, this is going to be short-term treatment.”

Hormone replacement therapy (or HRT) treats menopausal symptoms by replenishing estrogen and/or progesterone, which the body stops producing in menopause. Studies show a small degree of risk relating to breast cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke and blood clots. Establish whether your doctor is drawing a hard line against the therapy or if your personal medical history puts you at higher risk.

Low doses of SSRIs, the serotonin uptake inhibitors used to treat depression, are a fast-acting, non-hormonal alternative. Dr. Santoro notes, “The way these drugs work in low doses is distinct from how they treat depression. As anyone who’s ever had a hot flash can tell you, it’s not psychiatric.”

Q. This is really embarrassing, but I suffer from constipation and gas a lot. Is that a sign of something serious or should I just try to live with it?

A. The body is designed to work correctly; any malfunction signals a problem worth investigating.

In the greatest number of cases, patients find complete relief with a modification of eating habits. Nonetheless, constipation and gas can signify digestive conditions such as ulcers, lactose intolerance and acid reflux. The concurrent presence of the two could imply an obstruction in the lower GI tract, which is sometimes caused by diseases of the colon. Or you could be pregnant. Oops.

Over-the-counter and home remedies can bring relief—active charcoal tablets, or antacids for gas; plenty of fiber and water for constipation—but prolonged self-medication can mask real problems or even create new ones. A gastroenterologist can help you treat the cause rather than the symptoms. And if you’re over 50, the doctor will want to rule out colon cancer.

Make an appointment with a gastrointestinal specialist. Bring with you a log of your diet and the symptoms that arose in the previous two weeks. The impact of digestive complications on lifestyle can be substantial. There’s no reason to “just live with it.”

Stages of a Man's Life

Messages for men at each stage of life
By Harvard Health Publications

In As You Like It, Shakespeare writes of the seven ages of man. Perhaps because the famous lines are spoken by the melancholy Jacques, they’re not optimistic. Starting with "mewling and puking" in infancy, Shakespeare takes us through the aging process, from "whining" youth to the "round belly" of middle age, only to end with the "second childishness" of old age.
Nobody has ever matched the Bard’s verse, and few can rival his understanding of human nature. Still, much has changed in 400 years, and technology has taken us to remarkable new places. In advanced societies, at least, life is longer, healthier, and better than ever before. But there is still an ebb and flow to life, with each stage having its unique strengths and vulnerabilities.

We were recently asked to offer a simple message to men at each stage of life. It’s a daunting task — not because of Shakespeare’s long shadow, but because there is so much to learn at every age and because the lessons learned at any age apply to them all. Even so, at the risk of oversimplification (and with apologies to Will), here is a message for each stage of life.

The first 10 years: Real men have feelings

At the dawn of humanity, boys were raised to be hunters; by Shakespeare’s time, they were also brought up to be warriors. The world has changed, but the masculine model is still the strong silent superhero. Nothing’s wrong with that, but boys should also learn to acknowledge their feelings, to respect the feelings of others, and to communicate emotions as well as facts.
In 1807 William Wordsworth observed, "The child is father of the man." Boys who learn that men are from Earth, not Mars, will become healthier and happier men. Boys will be boys, as they should — but they should also establish the psychological balance and learn the social skills they need in adulthood.

Boys don’t read health information, but their fathers and grandfathers do, and they should serve as role models, teaching boys that feelings count, too.

The teens and 20s: Real men wear seat belts

Seat belts are only the tip of the iceberg, a symbol for the common sense and prudence that often elude adolescent males.

Is it nature or nurture, testosterone and the Y chromosome, or role models and cultural norms? Nobody knows, but the answer is not likely to be either/or but both. It’s clear that men take risks, and risky or aggressive male behavior damages the health of both men and women. Men have a much higher risk of death from injury, homicide, suicide, and AIDS; women have a much higher risk of injury from domestic violence.

Accidents are the third leading cause of death in American men and the leading cause in men younger than 44. Simple cautions like seat belts and bike helmets can help. More complex measures involving alcohol, tobacco, drugs, firearms, and sex are also vital.

On average, American women live 5.2 years longer than men. Young men should learn the health habits that can help close the gap.

The 30s: No man is an island

The 17th-century poet and pastor John Donne said it first, but in 21st-century America, many men seem to be very insular indeed. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the challenge of building a career. Work is important, but young men shouldn’t let it displace family and friends. Instead, they should establish priorities and begin to build the social networks that can sustain them throughout life. For most men, that means putting family first. And young adulthood is also a good time to start making time for the hobbies and leisure activities that reduce stress and bring balance and fun to life.

There is a world outside the office, a big and interesting world. Men who learn that in their 30s will have the people and interests they need to be happy and healthy in retirement.

The 40s: Obesity happens

It actually starts to happen early in life, but by middle age the average guy has indeed acquired the round belly that Shakespeare predicted.

Two of every three American men are overweight or obese. Aesthetics aside, it’s a major health hazard: Excess body fat increases the risk of heart disease, hypertension, stroke, diabetes, arthritis, and cancer.

If there were a quick fix, we’d all be thin. Diet schemes abound, but none can deliver what they promise (and charge for). But there is a slow fix: diet and exercise.
Real men eat vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and fish. They can have some meat and potatoes too, but the less the better. Calories count; for men who need to reduce, the "C" word is calories, not carbs.

Exercise counts, too. You don’t have to run a marathon to control your weight and improve your health, but you do have to walk for at least 30 minutes a day. Other forms of moderate exercise will do just as well, as long as you do it. A lack of exercise and obesity are responsible for about 360,000 preventable deaths in the United States each year. That’s nearly as many as smoking, but the burden of sedentary living and obesity get much less attention.
A good diet and exercise program shouldn’t wait until that big 40th birthday, and they shouldn’t stop in the 40s, either. But for many, the middle-aged bulge is a wake-up call. Heed it before it gets alarming.

The 50s: Real men have doctors

It’s another message that men should hear early on, but by 50 it becomes urgent. At 50, you’ll need to talk to a doctor about how you should be screened for colon cancer and the more controversial question of prostate cancer screening. If you haven’t had your blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar checked at regular intervals, you should surely do so now. The same is true for your eyes.

Screening tests and good health habits are essential, but men must also listen to their bodies and report sounds of discord to their doctors. Most don’t; a major survey by the Commonwealth Fund reported that 25% of men said they would handle worries about health by waiting as long as possible before seeking help; just 18% said they would seek care as soon as possible.
John Wayne was a great actor, but he shouldn’t be a "grin and bear it" health model for American men. Doctors can help — if you let them.

The 60s: Expand your horizons

The kids are grown, the pension fund is growing, and the neighborhood ball game is a distant memory. Time to slow down and take it easy? Not if you want to stay healthy.
For men who have climbed to the top in business, academia, or government, the seventh decade is often a time of professional transition. Like most changes, it can be difficult — especially at first. But passing the baton doesn’t mean dropping it. Men who have reached the top and like it there should stay involved, aiming for a graceful transition as they give up power but retain (or expand) their influence.

Men who retire outright also face a big transition. Success depends on staying active, involved, and interested. True, you can’t do what you did half a lifetime ago, but you can do a lot. In fact, you can use the time and flexibility you’ve earned to expand your horizons. Travel will do that literally, but new sports, courses, and hobbies can do it close to home. Instead of folding your tent, pitch it in a new place.

The 70s: Use it or lose it

Hippocrates said it best: "That which is used develops; that which is not used wastes away." He wrote two millennia before Shakespeare, but it is as true today as it was then — and it’s true of the mind as well as the body.

Modern medicine has made many advances, but in this case, the research of the late 20th and early 21st centuries confirms the wisdom of the ages. Not to be outdone by a Greek doctor, the Roman orator Cicero proclaimed: "Old men retain their mental facilities, providing their interest and application continue." He was right. Four 21st-century studies that evaluated 3,884 elderly Americans agreed that senior citizens who engage in effortful mental activities are up to 38% less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia than those who don’t exercise their minds.

How can you build up your brain? Any mentally stimulating activity should help. Read, attend lectures, do puzzles, play checkers or chess, use a computer. Try things that also demand manual dexterity, such as drawing, ceramics, and crafts. Do anything you find interesting, stimulating, and — above all — new.

When Oliver Wendell Holmes was asked why he was reading Plato at the age of 92, he replied simply, "To improve my mind." The great jurist was on target. And if philosophy doesn’t grab you, you could do worse than reading this newsletter.

Physical exercise will help protect your body the way mental exercise protects your mind. You’ll walk slower at 70 than at 40, but you’ll continue to earn protection against heart disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity, osteoporosis, and colon cancer. When your doctors measure your blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol, they’ll see numbers usually found in younger men. Physical exercise will also protect your mind. Six studies of some 36,000 people older than 65 found that regular exercise was linked to a 34%–50% reduction in the risk of developing memory loss.

If coasting was tempting for 60-year-olds, it’s the norm at 70. At any age, it’s a mistake. To stay young, keep your body moving and your mind busy and challenged. It won’t stop the clock, but it will slow its tick.

The 80s: Count your blessings

Time marches on, and in time even the healthiest of us will experience diminished physical and mental abilities. With good health habits, good medical care, good genes, and good luck, the decline will be gradual — but it will occur.

While it’s important to keep working to stay healthy and active, it’s also important to understand, accept, and adjust to new limitations. But that doesn’t mean dwelling on what’s been lost. Instead, focus on all the good things in your past and keep looking for good things in your present — and future.

The theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said it best. Throughout life, but particularly in maturity, men should strive to attain the ability "to accept with serenity things that cannot be changed, [the] courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

The 90s: Share your wisdom

Many societies bestow a special status on their oldest citizens. Elders are the wise men, the repositories of the experience and history that give life meaning and perspective. America, alas, has lost much of this reverence for age. But if you are lucky enough to grow older and wiser than most, consider ways to share your insights with younger generations. An oral history dictated to a grandchild or great-grandchild is one example of the way you can create a legacy that will keep the chain of life strong.

If you’ve made it to your 90s in good shape, your wisdom and experience are likely to include the eight messages we’ve offered younger men. Although it’s impossible to single out any one message to summarize them all, the American aphorist Mason Cooley did a pretty fair job in 1922: "The wisdom of age: Don’t stop walking."

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day6

Day 6

The final day of opening week is here, and as I open my eyes to greet it, I realize I welcome it. I snooze for an extra half hour, then crawl out of bed feeling pretty rested and pretty good — although secretly, I can’t wait for the day to be over.

I head to the theatre for rehearsal for As You Like It, which I’m sure will be more like a pre-opening night chat with our director Antoni Cimolino. In the Green Room — the staff cafeteria — I run into a friend who mocks me for my purchase. “Forget about muffins, missy,” she says to me, “you need energy today. You go out and get a good pasta in a nice thick cream sauce — that’s what you need.” Then she gives me a hug and a kiss and sends me on my way. Maybe she’s right…

Down in the maze of the festival theatre building, I find myself in Rehearsal Hall No. 3, a room named after Tanya Moiseiwitsch, the first designer of the Stratford Festival, and the genius behind the architecture of the most magical stage in the world — the festival’s thrust stage. Most of the cast is already seated when I arrive. I scarf down the rest of my sad little muffin and join them. As I thought, Antoni hasn’t gathered us to really rehearse — more to check in and have a chat. His job is finished; the show is ours now. He delivers a heartfelt thank-you speech and ends by saying that this is the most fun he’s ever had directing this show. I take this as a good sign.

Rehearsal is broken, and we have a five-hour countdown until show time. I hurry downtown to pick up a very last-minute opening-night present, get distracted with a little window shopping and, heeding the advice from earlier, pick up some chicken fettuccine alfredo to go.

At home, I set to work organizing everything for tonight, have a quick nap and before I know it, it’s 6 p.m. and I’m trundling off to the theatre, bags and bags of cards and presents in hand.
Warm-up is crowded, almost everybody is there; there is so much energy in the room, it might as well be levitating off the ground. I go to my spot — I have the same spot every day — and immediately feel myself go into a “zone.” I’m really focused tonight — I have no idea how or why — but I go with it because it feels really good. Usually, I’m very influenced by the chaos around me, but something inside is keeping me grounded and connected. Because of this, I leave feeling excited about the show, and not the least bit scared.

Downstairs, my dressing room table is overflowing with cards and presents and flowers from friends, cast mates and, of course, Mom and Dad. This is totally overwhelming — people are so generous.

Tonight, the show will start with Barenaked Ladies singing the national anthem live on stage. This shifts our usual show rhythm, but the band sounds really good and after the cheers for them have died down, there is a hush as the stage goes to black and this year’s production of As You Like It is unveiled.

I have a lot of fun in my first scene as Audrey — but I’m aware that I’m trying too hard. I tell myself to relax and trust; to my surprise, my body listens. I don’t feel like overanalyzing or worrying tonight; life’s too short.

And so is the play, apparently — as fast as it began, it was over. After the curtain call, the back stage halls are filled with chatter and laughter. I look in the mirror as I take off my wig, and I’m smiling. I had a really good time tonight, and I think I feel satisfied. Upstairs at the reception, I say goodbye to a long but fulfilling week with a toast that lasts into the wee hours of the morning…

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/stratforddiaryday6.html

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day5

Day 5

Friday — a two-show day. Started it by doing a lot of breathing this morning, and since then I feel as though I’m moving in slow motion — which I think is a good thing, because usually my motor is running pretty fast. A voice coach took one look at me and said, “We need to settle you down” — and she was right. One can’t help but be energized this week, but it’s all in how you deal with it.

The theatre — all three theatres, for that matter — are in adrenaline overdrive, and the spirit of that is contagious. Not only does our own adrenaline kick in, but because as artists we are so open, we take on the energy of everyone and everything around us. And you can’t ignore how you feel; you have to find a way of working within it, of breathing down the centre of it. And it sort of tricks you, because you don’t feel it until you slow down, or better yet, stop for a moment. So that’s what I did. I stopped, had a lie-down with my legs up on a chair and just listened to my breath for an hour. To non-actors this will sound ridiculous — but it’s key. And when a professional voice coach tells you to breathe, you listen — because they know best.

At the theatre before the As You Like It matinee, the girls gather in my dressing room to organize our opening-night surprise for the boys. All I can say is that it involves a lot of lipstick…

I have great fun doing the show today. Playing in a love story is so great. It makes you so happy all the time. Way better for your mental health than being in a tragedy every night.

For dinner, I decide to treat myself to a pizza at Pazzo Ristorante — the best pizza in town. When I arrive, I discover the whole world seems to have had the same idea. I run into several friends who just opened The Brothers Karamazov, a new adaptation by Jason Sherman at the Tom Patterson Theatre; they say it had been a good afternoon. A few understudies had been on due to illnesses in the cast, but all had run smoothly. My doggy bag in hand, I head back to the theatre for the evening performance of The Tempest.

At the fifteen-minute call I can feel myself crashing. The combination of a really long week and all that breathing this morning have resulted in the ol‘ gas tank being out of gas. My Goddess costume feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and I can taste my bed, I want it so badly. My walk home — a whole four blocks — seems endless, and as I drag myself up to my apartment, I vow that I’m going to have a nice long, restful sleep before the big day tomorrow. But not before I have just the tiniest piece of leftover pizza as a bedtime snack…

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/stratforddiaryday5.html

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day4

Enter Stage Right
Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival
By Laura Condlln June 6, 2005

Day 4

I think it’s always a good idea to start the day with a bit of girl talk over brunch. This morning I met two friends — Martha Farrell and Jennifer Mawhinney — for some “eggs benny” and some good ol’ fashioned gossip.

The three of us spent the winter training together in the festival’s Conservatory program — a nineteen-week classical theatre intensive. We bonded instantly because we were outnumbered by the boys nine to three. It’s a harsh reality for women interested in classical theatre; there just aren’t that many parts. There are some really good ones — Shakespeare knew how to write for women — but there’s much more opportunity for the boys.

After breakfast I head to the theatre, running into stores along the way for some final opening-night supplies. I’m a great believer in multitasking, and I’m also a “last-minute” junkie.

At 12:30, I arrive breathless for warm-up; it takes me twice as long to settle and relax. By 1:15, I’ve signed in at the call-board and am putting on my make-up — except that after I’ve done half my face, I realize I’m preparing for the wrong show. It’s an As You Like It matinee, but I’ve been in such a Tempest rhythm all week that I went into automatic pilot. Not to mention that we haven’t had an As You Like It performance in five whole days.

Switching eye shadow, I get myself back on track for my first entrance in “the party scene.” Santo Loquasto, our designer, has put us all in outrageous 1960s costumes for this scene — all in black and white to symbolize the harsh, cold laws of the court. The effect of my big red beehive wig, the make-up inspired by an old Vogue ad, a long cigarette and my tent dress/unitard combo prompts people to tell me I conjure memories of their “Aunt Marilyn.”

After the scene, I begin the transformation into the second character I play in this production. Audrey (me) and Touchstone, (played by Stephen Ouimette) have a comic romance in the play. He’s from the court, she’s from the forest. He’s the clown, full of life with a quick wit and a healthy libido, and she, well, she’s a simple country girl who just wants to get married. Classic comedy.

We don’t meet Audrey until the second half of the play, so I have some extra time to get ready. And it’s a good thing, too, because I’ve developed quite the routine. They say that baseball players don’t change their socks before a big game; it sounds a bit mad, but I’m sort of like that, too, only with slightly more regard for personal hygiene.

Once I develop a pre-show pattern, I rarely change it. I do everything in the same order — even when I fill up my water bottle — and there’s a secret ingredient, too. Before I enter for my first Audrey scene, I take out my Walkman — not an iPod, but a Walkman — and listen to “Good Morning Starshine” on an old Broadway recording of Hair. It always puts me in the right headspace. Down the hall, Sara Topham, who plays Rosalind in As You Like It, listens to Mozart arias before she goes on. We all have our quirks.

The show goes very well. The audience is our quietest so far, but that allows us to go back to the text and the story — which I think will always serve us better than playing for laughs. Antoni Cimolino, our director, wants us back in the evening for rehearsal; during my dinner break, I secretly hope I’ll be let out early so I can attend the opening of Fallen Angels tonight at the Avon Theatre.

Throwing a dress in my bag, I hurry back to the theatre, and sure enough, at 7:45 I’m released. I fly across town, and just as the lights are coming down, I slip in beside my date to enjoy a brilliant evening of Noël Coward.

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/stratforddiaryday4.html

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day3

Enter Stage Right
Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival
By Laura Condlln June 3, 2005

Day 3

I think the hardest part of opening week is the feeling of being under the microscope. Let’s be honest: there are critics everywhere — even inside our own heads — but sometimes it’s hard to have a thick skin that protects you from the harsh judgments of others.

It is my belief that as actors, the learning and growth process never stops. The same holds true for productions. You can’t possibly have all the answers to your character’s journey by the time the show opens. And what would be the point? If you know everything already, why continue? I think you should have strong choices in place, a shape within your scene work that won’t shift drastically, but there has got to be room for flexibility within that form. We’re human, we’re sharing ourselves within our art, and the work must be alive, have breath — it can’t just be a replica every night. Obviously, I don’t mean that actors should have the freedom to respond to their every whim. But things in the work — the relationships between characters, connections to text — are going to grow and develop over time. Especially here at the festival, where some of the shows run for five or six months.

Someone once told me that when a show opens, it’s in its infancy, and I truly believe that. Over time it matures and settles. So why do we put such emphasis on an opening-night performance, as a kind of “make it or break it” judgment time? And reviews can do damage, even if they are good reviews. I try not to read any, but the temptation is terrible.

I bring all this up because as I was getting ready for my Tempest matinee today, I couldn’t stop analyzing my performance from Monday night, our opening night. Questions, worry, doubt — all flooding through my brain. And the reality is, I only say twenty-two words. I thought I was losing my mind. Because of the pressure of the opening, I lost all confidence and trust in my work. Brooding over whether it looked OK and sounded OK, rather than just getting on with it and doing my job. All because I have endowed critics, a handful of people in a sea of audience members, with the power to decide whether I’m good or bad. If I spend my career doing this, I’ll go mad.

A lesson I learned while training in the Birmingham Classical Conservatory here in Stratford during the winter was that good work speaks for itself, and that it’s not worth seeking the approval of others. This is a giant beacon of wisdom that will take me a while to fully grasp. Armed with this, I turn to face the rest of opening week determined to focus on what’s important: the telling of the story and my place in that.

Copyright © 2005 Canadian Broadcasting Corporation - All Rights Reserved
More Arts on CBC.ca

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day2

Enter Stage Right
Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival
By Laura Condlln June 3, 2005

Day 2

First order of business — coffee. Second — a costume fitting.
Down I go through the maze that is the Festival Theatre building, past the prop shop, boots and shoes, the millinery, the dye room and a storage room that holds the most pairs of panty hose I’ve ever seen. Eventually, I find myself in the fitting rooms.

This morning I have a fitting for The Lark by Jean Anouilh (adapted by Lillian Hellman), which is the third play I have been contracted to appear in this season. The Tempest and As You Like It, both by William Shakespeare, have been rehearsing since March and both open this week, and The Lark — which we call a “late opener” — doesn’t even start rehearsal until next week, and opens in August.

Today, I get my first glimpse of the world of this play about Joan of Arc. I play Joan’s mother, and my costume sketch shows a simple European peasant woman. It’s interesting, the information you receive at your fittings. The theatre is so big, and has so much going on that much is decided and completed ahead of time. So you can walk into a fitting and discover a great deal about your character because of the choices that have been made for you, before you even start rehearsing.

I think this can be both helpful and hindering — it depends. Today, it’s helpful. I look in the mirror and immediately get a vision of who this woman is. I feel older, a bit tired — which one could argue might have something to do with the party last night — and my shoulders begin to cave in slightly because of the cut under the arms. They ask me to do some “apron acting” to decide on the length of the hem and the dress, and presto — instant character. Joan’s mamma is born.

I check the time and see that I have fifteen minutes before I switch hats and go to the As You Like It rehearsal. Perfect. Just enough time for coffee No. 2. This time I go up through the maze and find myself in Rehearsal Hall No. 1, a room named after Tyrone Guthrie, the first artistic director of the festival. For rehearsal purposes, there is a mock-up of the stage in this room, but today, the floor is covered with a large circle of chairs. Most of my fellow cast mates are already seated when I arrive, so I slip in between two friends and say a quick hello.

Antoni Cimolino, our director, greets everyone and begins to give us notes from our last preview. He emphasizes that in a comedy, we can never afford to let the audience get ahead of us. He stresses how we must all focus on keeping the dialogue and the story moving forward, and it is for this purpose that we have gathered for rehearsal. He wants us to do a “radio run” or “Italian” of the play. This means we will stay seated exactly as we are, and deliver the text as quickly as possible while still maintaining the integrity of our thoughts and intentions. This exercise can be informative because it makes your brain work faster and infuses new life into scenes. As the country goat herder Audrey, I don’t speak until the second half of the play, but before I know it, I hear my cue line coming from across the circle. I look over and see my Touchstone, played by Stephen Ouimette, with a twinkle in his eye. He’s the best. We do our thing back and forth across the circle and rehearsal is broken.

Back at home I put on a frock, have a quick salad and a cocktail with a friend, and together we run out the door to the opening of Hello Dolly! The energy in the theatre is buzzing, the show is fabulous and the crowd erupts at the end with whistles, shouts of “Bravo!” and people on their feet in never-ending applause. And there we have the second day of opening week complete.

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/stratforddiaryday2.html

Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival-Day1

Enter Stage Right
Diary of an actor at the Stratford Festival
By Laura Condlln June 2, 2005

Laura Condlln is a 27-year-old actor who just completed a 20-week intensive course at the Birmingham Conservatory for Classical Theatre Training at the Stratford Festival. Founded in 1998 by festival artistic director Richard Monette, the conservatory’s aim is to train the next generation of actors. Young thespians apprentice at the conservatory, and as part of their training, are cast in a season of Stratford. In this, her fourth season, Condlln appears in three plays: she plays a Goddess in Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Audrey in the Bard’s As You Like It and a role in Lillian Hellman’s adaptation of Jean Anouilh’s The Lark. What follows are Condlln’s impressions of her opening week on the Stratford stage.

Day 1
I just don’t know how I feel about starting my day at 9 a.m. in my accountant’s office, finding out exactly how much I owe the government in taxes. Bless his heart, he’s a really nice guy and he broke it to me gently — but he could have been speaking a foreign language for all I understand about GST and CPP. Being an adult is hard — especially a self-employed one. But I remind myself that no one has ever died by paying their taxes so I just better get on with it. And let’s be honest, there are some other things that should be occupying my brain today…

Opening Week has arrived. Today is Monday, the gala opening of the 2005 Stratford Festival Season, and more specifically, the opening of The Tempest — one of two Shakespeare productions I am appearing in this week. As I put the coffee on, I make a mental list of what I need to do today. By some wonderful miracle I have the whole day off until I head to the theatre for my call tonight. I know I should take advantage of this time, because it’s rare around here, so the day fills itself with chores, a debate about what to wear to the reception tonight — with a mild panic about earrings — writing Opening Night cards and a nap.

At 5:30 I head to the theatre. Before each performance, a 30-minute voice warm-up is scheduled for the actors. I love these warm-ups and attend them religiously. It’s my time to get centered and “into” my body in preparation for the show. Tonight, warm-up is being led by Janine Pearson, the Head of Voice here at the festival. Her voice is meditative and seems to soothe the nervous jitters we can all feel in the room. After a series of exercises, I leave in a state of readiness and focus — only to go down two flights of stairs where backstage is exploding with opening-night energy. Flowers and cards and presents are spilling off everyone’s dressing room tables, and cast and crew alike are buzzing around every corner. It’s fabulous.

At the five-minute call I hear the trumpet fanfare — it’s a long-standing tradition that began in the festival’s inaugural year, and a sort of comfort food for me. I feel butterflies in my belly as I watch William Hutt enter from up stage center greeted by a long round of applause. Off we go.

Half an hour into the show, I go to my second warm-up. The three goddesses, of which I am one, sing a trio in Act IV and we have made it a habit to check in with each other and to sing a bit before our scene. I also am making a small pronunciation adjustment in my line of text, and have had strict orders to run it at least ten times so I don’t panic when I get out there. Nerves have a mind of their own, and I’m not going to let them boss me around tonight.

The show sounds good, and the audience seems warm and receptive for an opening night crowd — which can tend to be quiet. We have a sound system backstage that allows us to listen to what’s happening on stage. I don’t make my entrance as Juno the goddess of marriage until after the interval, and since it takes me forever to put on my make-up and my enormous and gorgeous costume, I spend most of the evening listening to my fellow cast members. When Bill begins the famous Prospero speech (“Ye elves…”) you can feel the magic in the building.

Bill is a Canadian theatre legend and this production of The Tempest will be his farewell performance. He is a master, and he will be missed. You can feel how much he is loved at the curtain call especially. Tonight, all 1,600 hundred people rose to their feet in unison as a sort of human wave as he entered to take his bow. The feeling and energy of that is impossible to describe. It’s quite something.

The reception after the show is a bit of a blur, and as I walk home, I decide that tonight went well. A good start to what I hope will be a good week. I fall into bed, the early-morning meeting with my accountant a distant memory…

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/stratforddiary.html

Rules to win the networking game

Most people aren't methodical enough and give up entirely too easily, career transition consultant TIM CORK tells WALLACE IMMEN

WALLACE IMMEN


When you meet Tim Cork, he's more than likely to whip out a pen and scribble notes about you as you talk. He'll probably be bold enough to ask for an introduction to two of your friends as well.

While that may seem more than a tad pushy, even invasive, it's all part of the smart networking game, Mr. Cork says. And networking is his daily business.

The president of the Toronto career transition company Nexcareer Inc. says that you have to be very deliberate about expanding and updating your network. The payoff will come in great sources of contacts, advice and ideas for expanding your career.

He's a big believer in the theory of six degrees of separation -- the notion that we are all connected through a chain of no more than six people. Except, from 20 years of networking, Mr. Cork says he is convinced "in Canada, there's really only one degree or, at most, two degrees of separation."

But most people aren't methodical enough to benefit from the real power of networking, and they give up entirely too easily when they put it into practice, he says.

While you don't have to go to his extremes, he says anyone can easily make the right connections.

Practice networking every day. Everyone has a social system that can be the source of important contacts. Don't narrow your network to the people you know in your work or business social engagements, Mr. Cork advises. Your doctor, dentist, accountant lawyer, real estate agent and others you come into contact with are sure to have their own broad networks as well.

Choose your targets. "If you want to fly with eagles, you have to hang out with eagles and learn how they do it," Mr. Cork says.
Focus your networking efforts on people who are going to be most influential in getting what you want. If you want a better job or advancement, the eagles are those who have already achieved the lofty heights you aspire to. You can tap them for advice about their experience and the challenges and tribulations they experienced on the way up.

Approach even the loftiest eagles. Most are more approachable than you might imagine, Mr. Cork says. The best way to catch their attention: Get them talking about themselves. "Think of an imaginary sign around their neck that reads: 'Make me feel important; make me feel good.' "

You can do that by boning up on your targets. Do a little research to find out about a recent achievement to ask about. Most people consider that a compliment.

"Let them know you admire their expertise and would like their advice on the subject, or help in finding someone who can help you."

If someone says no, just say thanks and move on, Mr. Cork recommends. "There are more eagles out there who will be willing to spend some time to help you learn to fly," he says."

Tap into the senses. People meeting you for the first time form an instant impression of you before you ever start into your message.

Visual clues, such as the way you dress, the way you stand and your obvious facial cues that show you are interested in them can predispose them to be co-operative with you, Mr. Cork says.

Just as important are sound cues. A friendly, genuine voice will predispose someone to listen to you, while an aggressive or nervous sound will turn off their reception.

Making eye contact is a particularly valuable tool; one of the simplest things to do is to try to see the colour of a person's eyes when you are introducing yourself, he recommends. "You don't even have to remember the colour, but in the time it takes to register, it demonstrates you are interested in them."

And remember body language. Don't cross your arms or hang back, which can be read as unfriendly.

Take notes. "As a courtesy, you should always ask first, but I don't remember anyone ever saying no if I want to write things down," Mr. Cork says.

Not only does it mean you don't have to rely on your memory but "when you take notes, you show the person you're taking an interest; it's not just going in one ear and out the other."
Details about family, interests and events you can refer to the next time you meet gives you common ground for discussion. "If someone comes up to you and asks about your wife and kids, the barrier is down. It says this person cares enough to get to know a little more about me and to remember it."

Keep a data base. Stashing cards in a file is ineffective because you can forget who gave it to you and why, Mr. Cork says. You retain more information if you write it out or type it into an electronic file.

Mr. Cork has a personal computerized contact file that he started 20 years ago and represents more than 20,000 people he has met.

There are 2,318 people he considers close networking acquaintances, with complete electronic files that include interests and family that he updates regularly. Figuring "conservatively" that each of these people also has a circle of about 200 contacts, he estimates that knowing just this smaller group gives him networking access to more than 460,000 people.

Get to the point. Whenever you meet someone, you have 30 seconds or less -- the average time of a television commercial -- to get your networking message across. More than that and attention starts to wander.

Ask each contact for two references. But don't make the request until you've earned the right. "If I have just met them, I may not ask immediately for a contact but the next day, I'll follow up with an e-mail," Mr. Cork says.

In that message, you can say: 'I don't want to put you on the spot but there's something we discussed that was very thought provoking. It would be great if you could give me two contacts to help me pursue it.'"

That means you don't put the person immediately on the spot and also gives him or her some time to think about the best people to put you in touch with.

Seek help warming up a call. Ask the person who makes the referral to do a huge favour and get in touch with the contact on your behalf first. That way, the person will be expecting your call, you avoid uncomfortable introductions and you can move easily into a friendly discussion. In most cases, all it takes is you asking, Mr. Cork insists.

Be politely persistent. In most cases, you won't get a response from the person you are trying to reach on the first call. Mr. Cork says that's how a lot of people fail: they don't try again and again.

You should leave a message explaining the reason for your call, but you don't have to repeat it each time. If you keep getting a recording, try calling at different times and keep calling until you get the person live.

It may take five or more calls before you should start to take a hint. However, "I don't think you ever have to give up," he says. "They may not want to talk to you but if you are courteous, the worst thing that can happen is they will eventually call and say 'please stop calling me.' "

Most often, busy people don't return your call because they don't know you and you may not be high on their list of priorities. But most people will eventually reply if you keep telling them you want to reach them, Mr. Cork says. And invariably, they will try to be helpful, as long as you have prepared a compelling and succinct reason for them to help. The approach that works best is to tell them how much you value their expertise.

Follow up with a thank you. Express gratitude in as many ways as you can. "Tell them they have done you a huge favour, thank them profusely and offer to help them in the future.

Always indicate your willingness to return a favour. If you are playing the asking game, you have to gain the right by offering something in return," Mr. Cork adds.

"Networking is really very simply about continually connecting with people, and it is really always about being willing to give, and not just in tangible things like gifts or services," Mr. Cork says.

You can send them something that relates to their interests. If they're a reader, send a book about the business topic you've discussed, along with a personal note. If they say they are not a big reader, ask if they'd like to have an audio version of the book to play in their car or an interesting music CD you've heard recently.

You can also offer your time, your experience and networking contacts to introduce them to other people that can help them. These are the things that will keep influential people in your circle of acquaintances, he notes.

Networking becomes easier and easier through habit, repetition and breaking the fear of rejection, Mr. Cork says. And it is the foundation you want to have firmly in place when it comes time to build your next career.

"People aren't strangers once you've met them. It's so much easier to meet the right people before you need their help."

Choose your words carefully when crafting a resume

by Molly Joss

Takeaway:
A resume is only as valuable as the attention it grabs, and if you've jammed it with action verbs and lots of glittery adjectives, it may not get the response you want. Find out what words to use and avoid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lists of action words are stock items in resume how-to books, along with the advice that you should pack your resume full of as many verbs, adjectives, and adverbs as you can.

But if you've taken that advice to heart, you could be turning off more prospective employers than you are enticing. Effective, not diverse, word choice is what really appeals to hiring managers.

Hiring managers' lists
It's hard to believe that a few words could irritate someone enough that they stop reading your resume, but it's true. After I granted my source's anonymity, which they requested so they could be extremely candid, more than a few hiring managers and recruiters admitted that
they have their own mental lists of words that annoy them.

While they said they might not reject a candidate outright because of these words, they believe that the resumes boasting such phrases would have made a better impression without them. I include some examples in this column.

For example, one IT hiring manager said she never likes to see assist or assisted on a resume. "I want to know what the candidate did, not how they helped. If they are familiar enough with a task to put it on their resume, they can come up with a better word than assisted," she
explained.

The hiring leader suggested rephrasing any "assisted" statements to be very specific as to what a candidate did in assisting. For example, if you helped out the marketing director by researching PDAs that would fit his department's needs, then state in the resume that you
"researched PDAs for the marketing department." The rephrasing illustrates a specific action.

For the same reasons as with assist, hiring managers aren't fond of the word experimental. No one wants to hear about what you tried to do—only what you have accomplished. Instead of "experimented with new LAN management software," write that you "evaluated LAN management software."

Several hiring managers objected to any words that described how well someone does a particular task. They said they want to know the person has a relevant skill, and also be the judge as to how well the person does it. Thus, words such as skillfully, effectively, carefully,
quickly, expert, mastered and the like can hurt more than they help.

Of all the words noted above, any variation of the word skill—especially skillfully—will draw more sneers than smiles.

Employers and recruiters want to see more humility than hubris on a candidate's resume. If you put it on your resume then it's got to be something noteworthy.

"If you aren't good at it, why are you putting it on your resume?"
said one recruiter.

Putting best skills first
If you want to clearly indicate that you are better at some things than others, and have been using any of above cited words to indicate your best skills, it's time to rework your resume. List only the skills that you can perform acceptably well and that are appropriate to the position requirements. Thus, the need to describe how well you do something disappears, and your resume is more focused.

You can describe your secondary and tertiary skills within job descriptions if appropriate. After all, if you don't have the necessary primary skills you're hawking, then having the others won't
help you get the job.

Here's an example of how to avoid boasting in a resume while still conveying professional excellence. Instead of saying that you "skillfully" did X, drop the adverb and quantify X.

Once you've banished all the self-evaluative terms, make another pass through the resume and remove any tired business jargon such as: cutting-edge, liaison, coordinate, facilitate, proven ability, synergy and transformed.

People have seen and heard these words so often that they've lost the energy they had originally. Hiring managers say the words take up space without communicating much. Also, beware that most tech hiring managers realize that good IT managers are detail-oriented, so you can safely remove this fatigued phrase from your resume, as well.

Making a resume snap
Add more verve to your resume by being as specific as possible about your current and past responsibilities—especially if those are responsibilities that are also part of the job you want to get. Nothing dials down someone's enthusiasm so much as reading the phrase, responsible for, followed by a list of mundane management tasks.

You're a manager, so of course you're responsible for something. Tell the reader exactly what your responsibilities are and work in a few numbers to help them get the scope of what you do. Phrases such as "manage a staff of X", "oversee a capital investment budget of Y," or
"recommend training programs for Z employees" are all effective ways to concisely explain what you do and have achieved. Be as specific and as detailed as you can be, keeping in mind that you don't want to give away any confidential information about your current employer.

Overall, remember that your resume should always be a statement of fact, but that it is also a marketing tool and that you are using it to market your most valuable product—yourself. Use words and phrases that improve, not weaken, the power of your marketing message.

Three tips following the 80/20 principle

When IT managers are short on staff, budget, and time—they need to focus their efforts on the work that matters most. That’s the message from Richard Koch, the London-based author of “The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Success by Achieving More With Less.” Koch’s view provides a framework for managers and challenges them to view their responsibilities and work with a new outlook.

The 80/20 principle presumes, “a small minority of forces—roughly 20 percent or less…account for 80 percent of what happens,” said Koch.

Koch cites the Internet as an example of this theory.

“The top five percent of Web sites, some 6,000 sites,” he said, “receive 75 percent of all visits.”

Koch believes that IT managers can leverage this principle to their advantage. He recalls how IBM gained its superior reputation in IT in the early 1960s when IT professionals at IBM found that 80 percent of a computer's time is spent executing less than 20 percent of the operating code.

“IBM immediately rewrote its operating software to make the most-used 20 percent very accessible and user friendly. As a result, IBM gained a reputation of making faster and more efficient machines than its competitors, even though this was only true for a minority of functions—the ones that mattered,” said Koch.

He offers the following three ways to apply the principle to an IT project.

Simplify the objective
“It's a safe bet that 80 percent of the value of any project will come from 20 percent or fewer of its activities,” said Koch. “Lesson [one]—a project is not a project. It's always several projects. So before you start, simplify the task. Strip it down to one simple aim. Jettison the baggage.”

Impose a severe schedule
Koch recommends imposing tight deadlines. He believes that severe time constraints will force workers to function more efficiently.

“Only then [when you impose an impossible time scale] will the team identify and do the 20 percent that gives 80 percent or more of the value,” he said.

Design before you implement
“Another useful 80/20 hypothesis is that 20 percent of the problems with any project cause 80 percent of the cost or time overruns,” said Koch. “These usually arise in the design phase. So careful attention to design before doing anything is well worth it.”

Three tactical techniques to try
In the article, “Cutting IT Budgets: Tactics and a Survival Guide,” Gartner analysts Kurt Potter and John Roberts outlined practical techniques for IT managers who are looking for immediate cost savings. Here are three tactical tips they described that are helpful for reducing the cost of a project.

Renegotiate vendor contracts
“Vendors are often creative at avoiding price concessions during times of economic growth, but when times are bad for all, these same vendors are more willing to reduce prices by 10 percent rather than losing 100 percent of the business,” according to the Gartner report.

Taking this advice might not be as complicated as you might imagine. In the TechRepublic article, “An IT manager speaks out: 'The most difficult budget challenge I’ve ever faced',” IT manager Angel Martinez described how he successfully renegotiated with vendors and saved roughly $50,000.

Check your accounting methods
Potter and Roberts advise IT departments to adopt more accurate accounting methods. They wrote:

“Push costs to the business units that they can easily absorb and that seem insignificant to them but which are direct expenses they can identify. Although this practice will not optimize costs, the costs will now rest with their owners. Examples include paper, disks, and reports.”
To learn more about this method, read the TechRepublic article, “Are you charging your cost centers properly?”

Defer new projects
Consider a proactive approach to budgeting by canceling or delaying projects. Potter and Roberts recognized the implications of this decision when they wrote:

“More difficult judgments are required where projects are partially completed, especially if infrastructure upgrades are required. Evaluate cancellation and completion to minimum functionality.”

Get creative
There’s not one solution that would work for every department. IT managers need to rely on their own creativity to develop a plan to reduce costs during financially challenging times.

“IT managers must realize that productivity gains can be achieved from many sources—not necessarily from technological innovations or project-specific changes alone,” said Cynthia More, an independent business consultant based in Akron, OH. “They must train themselves to look beyond the obvious, to see the big picture, to think out of the box. That’s the only way they’re going to get through these lean times.”

Source: http://techrepublic.com.com/5173-6315-0.html

How do you pronounce IT?

The following pronunciations are based on an approximation of U.S.
English. An understanding of U.S. English may be needed to understand
how to interpret a particular pronunciation rendering. If you know of
a term in information technology that people often stumble over or
mispronounce, please send us an e-mail and let us know!
Note: In writing, many style editors prefer that the spelled-out
version of a term should be used in the first written occurrence of a
term in an article (for example, "wireless local area network (WLAN)"
instead of just "WLAN" or even "wireless LAN"). Thereafter, the
abbreviated form can be used.

In pronouncing an abbreviation or reading it aloud, the pronouncer may
want to convert the abbreviation into the long form for the
understanding of a listener (for example, reading "wireless LAN" for
"WLAN").

TERM PRONUNCIATION
802.11 eight-oh-two-dot-eleven
ABAP ah-bop
ACL aye-cee-el or aye-kull
APAR AY-pahr
ASCII ASK-ee
BAPI BAH- pee
Beowulf bay-ah-woolf
cache cash
canonicalization KA-nahn-nihk-uhl-ih-ZAY-shun
CICS kicks or cee-eye-cee-ess
CLEC cleck or cee-leck
COMMAREA COM -area
daemon DEE-mon or DAY-mon
data DAY-tuh
DOS doss
EBCDIC EHB-suh-dik
FAQ fack or eff-ay-q
Freethem.K free-thum-KAY (do not pronounce the dot)
FUD fud
gibibyte GIH-bee-bite
GIF giff (with a hard "g" as in goat) or jiff
(as in the peanut butter)
GNOME GUH-nome or nome (rhymes with home)
grok grahk
GUI GOO-ee
GNU GUH-new or new
heterogeneous het-ter-o-GENE-ee-us
HIPAA HIP-puh
IDS eye-dee-ess
IPsec EYE-pee-sec
iSCSI EYE-scuzzy
IT EYE-TEE
J2EE jay-TWO-ee-ee
keitai k-tie
Kerberos KERR-berr-ross
KLOC KAY-lock
LAN lan (rhymes with man)
LPAR EL-par
LEC lehk
Linux LIH-nux
LOB ell-oh-bee
LU-LU loo-loo
mebibyte MEH-bee-byte
MIPS mihps
mySQL my-ess-q-el
NetBEUI NET-boo-ee
OLE (in Windows) OH-EHL-EE
OS X OH-ESS-ten
parity PAIR-i-tee
PC-cillin PEE-CEE SIHL-uhn (rhymes with penicillin)
PEBCAK PEEB-kak
POSIX PAH-zihcks
PostgreSQL post-gree-es-q-el
QAM kew-ay-ehm
queue Q
QWERTY KWEHR-tee
RACF rack-EFF
Rijndael RAIN-dahl
router rowt-ter (US) or root-ter (UK)
SAML sah-muhl
SAP ess-ay-pee
SAPScript sap-script
schema SKI-muh
SFA ess-eff-ay
Siebel SEE bull
Sophos SO-fohs
SQL ess-q-el or SEE-kwehl (both are used)
SuSE su-zee
sysop SISS-op
UDDI U-die or ewe-dee-dee-eye
URL yew-are-el
VAR vahr
vi vee-aye
VoIP vee-oh-eye-pee
WAN wan (rhymes with man)
wav file WAVE-file
WebDAV WEB-daav
Wi-Fi WY-FY (rhymes with sky)
Windows Me WIHN-dohs EHM-EE
WLAN double-you-lan
WSCI wiz-key
WSDL wiz-dull
WYSIWYG WIZ-ee-wig
Xanadu ZAN-ah-doo

Source: SearchTechTarget.com,

Canada won't join missile defence plan

Last Updated Thu, 24 Feb 2005 21:32:18 EST
CBC News

OTTAWA - Canada has said no to the U.S. missile defence program, Prime Minister Paul Martin announced Thursday.

The prime minister said the decision was made following extensive discussions with Foreign Affairs and National Defence.

"Let me be clear: we respect the right of the United States to defend itself and its people," said Martin.

Canada will continue to work with the U.S. for the common defence of North America, but our efforts won't be concentrated on missile defence, the prime minister said.

"Canada remains steadfast in its support of Norad," said Martin.

The nearly $13 billion allocated for the military in Wednesday's budget proves Canada is committed to taking its share of responsibility for national and international security, he said.

The outgoing U.S. ambassador to Canada reacted swiftly, saying the decision to defend North America now rests with Washington.

"We simply cannot understand why Canada would in effect give up its sovereignty – its seat at the table – to decide what to do about a missile that might be coming towards Canada," said Paul Cellucci.

Earlier, Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew told the House of Commons about the prime minister's decision, which Pettigrew said was based on policy, and not emotion.

Pettigrew said he informed U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice of Canada's decision on Tuesday during NATO meetings in Brussels.

"Of course, the U.S. is disappointed. They recognize and respect our decision," said Pettigrew.
While NDP foreign affairs critic Alexa McDonough praised the decision, party leader Jack Layton criticized the prime minister for telling the American secretary of state before informing MPs.

When asked Wednesday during Question Period whether he was planning to reject missile defence, Martin suggested the decision hadn't been made.

"The government has stated all along that it will make the decision when it is in Canada's interest to do so," said Martin.

The issue was thrust into the spotlight earlier this week when Canada's new ambassador to Washington, Frank McKenna, said Canada is effectively already taking part in the program by allowing the missile program to use Norad.

During a visit to Canada in December, U.S. President George W. Bush publicly urged Martin to join the program.

When he first took office, Martin suggested he supported joining the plan, saying he believed Canada should be at the table when it comes to any discussion of the defence of North America.

Critics of the program say it could lead to a new arms race and the weaponization of space.

6 Ways Employers Recommend To Improve Your Resume

A successful Human Resources Manager, with years of hiring experience, told me: "A resume is nothing more than a slick piece of advertisement. But, a very important piece. In a few seconds employers decide your fate based on what they glean from your resume."

In fact, you get about 20 seconds, according to the national survey of 600 hiring managers and human resources personnel that I conducted. Here are some of those findings:

1. Always have a Summary of Qualifications.
To many hiring managers, the most important part of your resume is your Summary of Qualifications section. Adding this triples your impact. Employers reported that this was one of the very first areas they read. This section usually consists of 4-6 sentences that present an overview of your experience, talents, skills and work habits, and is a highly influential summation of what you bring to the job. Since most job candidates DON'T use this important, eye-catching section, I never write a resume without it--it's much too valuable. Let me show you an example from one of my client's resume is:

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
Nine years management experience in human resources dealing with two fast paced, rapidly expanding high tech companies. Expertise includes employment law, recruiting, compensation packages, employee and laborrelations, and establishing workplace policies and procedures. Recognized for displaying excellent problem-solving skills and for developing employees' professional growth and productivity.

The Summary of Qualifications area, consolidates the best you have to bring to the job. It really stands out and pulls the employer in for a closer look. Besure that your resume has this essential section.

2. Demonstrate results.
Employers in the survey said vague, general resumes don't cut it. Use the "action =results" formula to create a high-impact tool. This is the specific formula where you show what was achieved in past jobs, especially bottomline contributions like saving time or money.
Instead of saying "I managed the team" for example, it's more effective to elaborate and say: "Managed the entire financial restructuring of department, and the results decreased staff & overhead, saving $90,000 annually." Be as positive as possible without exaggerating or misstating the truth. Note wherever possible how your actions brought about some positiveresults and accomplishments at your past employer--that's what gets attention.

3. One page works best.
Since most resumes are only allotted a 15-20 second review, don't waste precious seconds by using too many pages. You forget there's a cover letter to look at too, so consolidate your top abilities into one page. Be sure to emphasize the last 5 to 7 years, which most interest employers. We asked the employers on our survey which they preferred - 1, 2, or 3 pages? Everyone said no more than two pages, even for top executives.

Many stated that one page is best. Hands down, for staff positions and new graduates, one page was the top preference. Managers, professionals and executives could go into two pages; but often those with 20+ years of experience faced a serious problem when they elected to use a two page version. "Be crisp and focused," advised Joseph, a Department Director.
"Give me good info in an organized manner. Don't make me search for anything." Many other hiring managers echoed his words. Too often a longer resume is not a BETTER resume. Employers are interested in your abilities to manage and lead today, not in reading about irrelevant facts or outdated skills acquired during your early working years.

4. Target each resume to the job title sought.
"Job hunters send resumes in with no idea about the position. They mail in for anything and everything under the sun. No wonder they fail. It's the short, concise, one page resume with bullet-by-bullet accomplishments showing you can do the job that's the best way to impress me," says Jean, a Senior Executive and head of a large department. Target each resume to the job title sought. Even if you qualify for several different positions, it's better to create a different resume for each job, incorporating only the information pertinent to doing that specific job. This will eliminate the tendency to crowd your resume with too much non-related information. Support your abilities, accomplishments and past experiences with specifics to make your resume stand out. Mention any innovations, changes or actions (especially time &cost savings) that show you can take on the job and produce desired results.

5. Format matters. Your resume must catch the reader's eye.
"Professional, easy-to-read formats are essential," noted several executive hiring managers, "one that is visually appealing which suggests your professionalism, is an often overlooked but important component." Do not use micro-size type, and be sure to allow for lots of white space and borders. Make use of italicizing, CAPITALS, underlining, bolding, indentations, and bullets to emphasize important points. (Note: scannable resumes have different guidelines.) Print your resume on white or cream high-quality paper using a crisp laser printer.

6. Avoid the "killer boo boos".
Hands down, the "numero uno" mistake with every manager and HR personin our survey was spelling mistakes and typos. Many said: "I stop reading when I find spelling mistakes."Typos scream 'Don't hire me'. Proofread! Perfection is a necessity. And don't trust computer spell checkers. Don't use "I" in your resume. Instead, start each sentence with an action verb. Descriptive action verbs- such as established, analyzed, implemented, created, streamlined, organized - add power to your sentences. And don't include personal information about marital status, gender, height, weight, or health since it's an outdated style and violates discrimination laws.

Your resume can open doors for new employment opportunities - put in the time and effort to make yours great.

Source: Emailed to me by Able Kuriakose

Brad and Jen's 'quickie' divorce

(BANG) - Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are reportedly set for a
'quickie' divorce.

The Hollywood heartthrob and the former 'Friends' beauty, who
announced their separation last month, are said to have asked their
business managers to sort out their affairs rather than bring in
divorce lawyers, according to American TV show 'Celebrity Justice'.

The programme claims the star couple didn't merge their money during
their four-year marriage and the only thing they have to sort out is
their Hollywood mansion.

Despite their split, Brad and Jennifer have remained close and last
week it was reported they were set to attend this month's Oscars
together.

While they insisted they were not rekindling their romance, the pair
were said to be keen to go to the Academy Awards together to prove
there are no hard feelings between them.

A source said at the time: "They see each other often and are still
living together. Their romance might be over but they are still close.
They are even discussing going to the Oscars together.

"They realise that if they turn up with anyone else, it will cause an
almighty fuss."

Brad and Jennifer, who married in July 2000, announced their split
after "much thoughtful consideration" but pledged to remain "committed
and caring friends".

2005 begins better than 2004 ended-Tsunami brings out...

Tsunami brings out the best and the worst of humankind // January 6, 2004

The new buzz-word of recent years, Tsunami, misunderstood by many as it crept into the vocabulary of the world's main languages, left no doubt as to its real significance in the last week of 2004. As the horror of the effects it unleashed upon countless thousands of victims from around the world came to be felt, so also were the reactions from the four corners of the Earth.

The fact that Russian rescue teams and supplies were rushed to the disaster area already on 27th December, when many countries were still wrangling about what to do, seems to have gone unnoticed in the international press, which is to be expected, given the climate of russophobia still endemic in western press circles hung-over not from Christmas and the New Year but mainly from the Cold War. The ongoing relief operations with experts deployed in the area, ferrying emergency aid to the victims on 28th and 29th December and thereafter also seems to have struck a blindspot in the international press circles which like to claim impartiality and objectiveness in their reporting, but which in fact practise a despotic policy of censorship unprecedented in the history of mankind.

However, the events of 26th December 2004 are not for scoring cheap political points, not are they for grand-staging because this monumental event, this tidal wave in international affairs, this tsunami among international relations, forged a benchmark among humankind, forcing all of us to ask the right questions and to try to find the right answers.

For example, why is it so relatively easy for countries such as the USA, the UK and their clique of followers and hangers-on, to spend hundreds of billions of dollars on a war in Iraq which saw the wholesale slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent civilians, when it appears relatively difficult to come up with a fraction of these figures in dollars-worth of humanitarian aid? And when less than a tenth of the war-fund is raised, mainly due to the efforts of private citizens, the collective government trumpets sound a brazen salvo of victory, does this make sense?

To commend are the efforts of the private sector in many countries, which have produced more than their governments initially pledged, when these private individuals, donating so generously, pay their taxes yearly, monthly and daily, to governments which are supposed to contribute automatically to funds for overseas development.

To commend are the considerable skills and courage of the aid workers in the countries affected. To commend are the selfless efforts of the inhabitants of Sri Lanka, Indonesia, the Andaman islands, Nicobar islands, India and Thailand, many of whom had lost family members but who insisted on ferrying tourists to airports or ports so that they could get home.

To commend are the hundreds of tourists who have refused to cancel their holidays just because they want to help the local inhabitants rebuild their lives and their economies. To commend are the heroic efforts of many family members of victims, who have flown to the resorts and offered their services in recovering the bodies of their loved ones, however difficult a task this may be.
To commend are the messages and initiatives of support from practically all the world leaders, although the international press likes to dissect and choose who apparently said what.
All world leaders without exception felt the same horror and revulsion as that expressed by the select few bandied about on the mainstream news agencies, such as the messages from Tony Blair on his "working holiday" in the Middle East and George Bush who sent his brother and the outgoing Secretary of State to East Asia, after nominating his father and Bill Clinton as the ongoing fundraisers for the Tsunami fund and days after the USA tried to set up an exclusive regional task force, soon to be abandoned in a hail of international criticism, provoking some nice cosy noises pointed in the direction of the UNO, an organisation and institution which the Bush regime stubbornly and pathologically insists on deriding.

However, even the Bush regime came out of this crisis as one with the intelligence to change its naturally arrogant track, set right what it innately put wrong and try to mend fences by working with mankind instead of against it. Colin Powell, the man famous for lying through his teeth at the United Nations Security Council, comes across today as a man seriously committed to leaving his mark on humanitarian affairs. Too late, but nevertheless a great parting shot.
Yet to speak of Bush and Powell and Blair and not to mention the thousands of messages of support, shock and horror and solidarity and help, aid and love expressed by the other world leaders, is to insult the collective intelligence of mankind. All world leaders are committed to doing what they can to stimulate their nations' aid efforts, just as all citizens of the world unite in a common humanitarian cause.

If 2004 ended catastrophically badly, 2005 has begun extremely well, with a new spirit of togetherness, a new and renewed spirit of urgency to set right what nature wronged, to leave our collective mark in an ongoing battle with the elements, against which we lose so constantly but strive to understand so consistently.

Perhaps the tsunami in south-east Asia on 26th December 2004 kick-started a new wave of togetherness, a spiritual globalisation of humanitarian values and concerns which belittles the petty-mindedness of regimes such as those of Bush and Blair and their sycophantic followers-on and speaks volumes about the real values coursing through the veins of humankind.

It is nice to begin 2005 by saying that in this humanitarian wave, we have Bush and Blair on board. Welcome to the international community.

Article by Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey from Pravda.ru

What you can do about spyware and other unwanted software

What is spyware?

Spyware is a general term used for software that performs certain behaviors such as advertising, collecting personal information, or changing the configuration of your computer, generally without appropriately obtaining your consent. You might have spyware or other unwanted software on your computer if:

•You see pop-up advertisements even when you're not on the Web.
•The page your Web browser first opens to (your home page) or your browser search settings have changed without your knowledge.
•You notice a new toolbar in your browser that you didn't want, and find it difficult to get rid of.
•Your computer takes longer than usual to complete certain tasks.
•You experience a sudden rise in computer crashes.

Spyware is often associated with software that displays advertisements (called adware) or software that tracks personal or sensitive information. That does not mean all software which provides ads or tracks your online activities is bad. For example, you might sign up for a free music service, but "pay" for the service by agreeing to receive targeted ads. If you understand the terms and agree to them, you may have decided that it is a fair tradeoff. You might also agree to let the company track your online activities to determine which ads to show you.
Other kinds of unwanted software will make changes to your computer that can be annoying and can cause your computer slow down or crash. These programs have the ability to change your Web browser's home page or search page, or add additional components to your browser you don't need or want. These programs also make it very difficult for you to change your settings back to the way you originally had them. These types of unwanted programs are also often called spyware.

The key in all cases is whether or not you (or someone who uses your computer) understand what the software will do and have agreed to install the software on your computer.
There are a number of ways spyware or other unwanted software can get on your system. A common trick is to covertly install the software during the installation of other software you want such as a music or video file sharing program. Whenever you are installing something on your computer, make sure you carefully read all disclosures, including the license agreement and privacy statement. Sometimes the inclusion of unwanted software in a given software installation is documented, but it may appear at the end of a license agreement or privacy statement.

Source: Microsoft

Inspiration: "The World's Best Quotes in 1-10 Words."

I've collected thousands of inspirational quotes. It seems that nearly everything that can be said, has been said, simply and eloquently, in a way that can seldom be improved. Winston Churchill wrote, "Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all." So, I collected "The world's best quotes in one to ten words." These are the quotes, and my comments:

1. Love. —The Prophets
Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha. All the world's religious saints and prophets hold love as a central value, the glue that anchors the universe.

We hear, "Love makes the world go round," and "Love heals all wounds." These are familiar themes: love of friends, ideas, and self. Love of God and of country. Even love of life itself. If I could only have one word for all eternity, love would be my choice.

2. Know thyself. —Socrates
In college I studied philosophy under Professor Don Crosby, and met Socrates early. In career development, self-knowledge is everything. In a career, you can be two or three degrees off course and walk into a wall, instead of through a doorway. You don't have to be far off to have it fail.

Career unhappiness often results from lack of focus, and lack of focus stems from limited self-knowledge. But self-knowledge takes time, introspection, and effort. So it's easy to avoid.

3. Inches make champions. —Vince Lombardi
Under Vincent Thomas Lombardi's direction, the Green Bay Packers collected six division titles, five NFL championships, two Super Bowls, and record of 98-30-4. Lombardi knew a lot about winning. If football is a game of inches, so is career success. In the competitive world, you seldom win by a landslide.

Buzz Sullivan, my high school diving coach, told me, "A champion is someone who goes so far they can't go another inch—and then they go that inch." I wondered why that was important. Now I know. Winning in business or in personal life is all about inches: going small distances successfully, then going farther still.

4. Nothing gold can stay. —Robert Frost
We are swamped in change. And we had better get used to it, or at least figure out how to deal with it. In our parents' day, career change was uncommon. The norm was lifetime employment. Now CAREER = CHANGE. You'll have five careers in a lifetime, maybe six. Perhaps you'll do part-time, project, interim, or consulting work. And even if you're in your ideal dream job today, that might change tomorrow. Nothing gold can stay.

Martin Bucco taught English literature at Colorado State University, and first brought my attention to what words could mean. Bucco spoke of what he called "the great dead minds," those who have come before us and written their thoughts. He also said, "Time in life is short. You can only read so many books, so choose wisely." We spent many classes unwrapping Robert Frost's genius, and this is one of the poems that hit home:

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY — by Robert Frost
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

5. Work is love made visible. —Kahlil Gibran
About 80% of people are unhappy at work, and 20% are happy. Our culture has separated work from passion, and taught us to prefer a higher paycheck to higher happiness. That mistake costs us our souls. The goal of career development is to uncover one's gifts and passions, and to link them to the practical needs of the world. We call that "being in the right place," "finding a good fit," or "making the best use of one's talents."

In What Color Is Your Parachute? my mentor, Dick Bolles, quotes Fred Buechner, who writes, "There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work . . . (and) the place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." [2001 Edition, page 57.]

High compensation and high happiness are not incompatible. It's not that we shouldn't seek money, and lots of it; many of our clients do. But we should first seek to love, or at least to like, what we're doing. That's the realization of our highest calling.

6. No great thing is created suddenly. —Epictetus (A.D.200)
We live in a McDonald's culture. We want everything instantly and without effort. And we bristle when others around us appear to be getting more, sooner. Waiting for rewards or results is out of favor. It is so uncool.

Many things are created suddenly: the two-day house makeovers on HOME & GARDEN TELEVISION, for example, but they aren't great. They are adequate, functional, or practical improvements. Greatness requires thought and time, effort and sacrifice. Especially sacrifice.

Stellar careers aren't built overnight. Take the orthopedic surgeon, whose education extends 15 years past high school. Take the country western star on Grand Ole' Opry. Take the NFL quarterback or wide receiver, the CEOs, CFOs, and Vice Presidents of brand-name companies. Think about Edison, Einstein, or Galileo, or anyone else you might admire. None of them got there overnight.

Great careers are built upon hundreds of thousands of small efforts, undertaken daily, that eventually grow into a series of satisfying wins. An ad for Paul Masson Vineyards picturing a bottle of wine said, "Nothing good happens fast." I framed it, and hung it in my office.

7. Well done is better than well said. —Benjamin Franklin
This is a variation on "Actions speak louder than words" and on Shakespeare's superb quote, "Talkers are no good doers." An executive search consultant who recruited 500 bank presidents told me, "There are two kinds of candidates: tap dancers and superstars. Tap dancers go through the motions and superstars get the work done. I recruit the superstars."

8. No wind favors he who has no destined port. —Montaigne
The cliche, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there," is valid. And many careers are broken by lack of direction. Corporations define this concept as having a mission or vision, and organizations lacking vision usually flounder. "Career Planning" speaks to the idea of creating a blueprint for your future. That is, having a goal, a destined port—fulfilling your destiny. Stephen R. Covey said it well in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when he advised us to "Begin with the end in mind."

9. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. —Seneca
I've been there. You've been there. Sometimes life is hard. You hit a career roadblock or dead end. Nothing seems to be working. You're fired or laid off. Or worse yet, you and your spouse are both unemployed. It happens. And it happens more frequently than you might imagine, to good people, qualified candidates, because of circumstances beyond their control. I like Churchill's words, "Never give in, never, never, never, never; in nothing, great or small—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense." And I especially like the quote by Edmund Burke, who said: "Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair."

10. Do first things first, and second things not at all. —Peter Drucker.
It's so easy to do what's familiar, comfortable, or fun. It's so difficult, sometimes, to tackle the highest priority. And sometimes it's difficult to even know your top priorities; hence, the phrase, "I can't see the forest for the trees."

We suffer from over-choice: 67 varieties of toothpaste, 487 styles of shoes, 186 brands of cell phones with 137 telephone companies. We demand more variety than we could possibly need or want; and as a result, we get lost in options, opportunities, and choices. There are 87 varieties of lawyers, and 75 specialties inside medicine. The world of work can be a confusing landscape.

When you're flooded with career possibilities, or "swimming up Niagara Falls," it's good to spend time answering questions like, "What is the best and highest use of my talents?" and, "How can I make a bigger impact?"

If you can't establish clear career priorities by yourself, use friends and business acquaintances as a sounding board. They will want to help. Ask them to help you determine your "first things" and "second things." Or seek an outside coach or advisor to help you focus. Because if you don't know what your "first things" are, you simply can't do them FIRST.

Your friend,

Bill Frank

Interview Question And Answers - Tell Me About Yourself

From Ajeet Khurana

How to you tackle an interview question as open-ended as Tell me about yourself.There are 3 ways to tackle this interview question, and answers can range from the personal to the professional, from the specific to the general.

1) Give a quick run down of everything.
2) Talk only of the major accomplishments.
3) Refer only to facts that clearly relate to the position you are being interviewed for.

Naturally, there is no correct answer to this interview question. I would lean in the favor of a quick reference to some personal traits that give a quick-view of who you are. From there one could move to a one sentence of any relevant education/qualification. There should also be a mention of employment history.

Well so far, I have tackled this interview question and answered it with a resume answer. But, one thing that a resume does not contain that an interview answer should is a mention of the future: Where are you headed?? Why are you in this current profession?? Why are you presently seeking...

This interview question and answers to it can be used as a model to answer broad interview questions in general.

Tips of Using Microsfoft 2003

Using Hyphens and Dashes Word automatically changes some hyphens into em and en dashes (an em dash, as the name implies, is the width of a lowercase m, and an en dash is the width of a lowercase n). For example: Type a letter, followed by two hyphens, followed by another letter, and Word changes the hyphens to an em dash. It's nicely done, because the em dash has a little bit of space to the left and right, and a line can break before or after an em dash. Type any letter, followed by a space, a hyphen or two, and any other letter, and Word transforms the hyphen(s) into an en dash. This behavior is controlled by Word's AutoFormat As You Type feature. In addition, you can always type an em dash into a document by pressing Alt+Ctrl+- (minus) on the Number pad. An en dash is Ctrl+- (minus) on the Number pad. CAUTION Don't use the - (minus, or hyphen) that's to the right of the zero on most keyboards.